SyndicationSexual fulfillment: Face it, women like affection and men like sex. A man is feeling his most free to give love for a woman when he is engaged in sex with her. It is one of the few times he can relax and feel love with-out the expectations of having to 'pay' for it. What I mean when I say 'pay' for it is when a man says I love you, or feels love, he also feels the tremendous burden of what those words mean to him. He must now provide for her. Keep her happy and secure. Provide a safe home to which they may raise a family. Seek steady and financially secure employment. Seek her approval on every single plan before putting it into action. Yes, when a man says "I Love You" his insides turn with fear and worry about being able to provide all those I just mentioned. Love to woman often means security. Love to a man often means work! When a man is having sex with a woman he is allowed to feel his love for her free of all the 'work' that comes with the word love. He can open himself up and feel not being taken, drained, or pressured to provide... but experience the pure joy of mutual giving and taking with no other reason than loving bliss.
Not finding his wife physically attractive: Oh, OUCH! This one hurts, but it is true. Men are definitely creatures of visual stimulation. Note the marketable comparison in the amount of men's 'girlie' magazines (they are meant to tantalize, tease, and whet the appetite) as compared to women's 'boyie' magazines. Women sometimes forget this need because they don't have the same visual needs. Women feel love, and that bond excites them. Men see it!
Unhappy or dysfunctional homelife: Calm surroundings, happy kids, dinner on the stove and a loving wife welcoming him with open arms makes a man feel appreciated and rewarded for all his hard work that he does to provide for his family. He feels acknowledged, appreciated, and compensated by a happy, grateful family. He is not a failure!
An unhappy wife, messy home, and unruly children can somehow be turned around as proof to him that as a man he is a failure. He feels lack of admiration and sees no praise for his accomplishments or talents. Wow! Men are such work, and now we have to tell them they are great too? Yes, men need, I mean NEED the approval and admiration of their mates. He wants to be reassured that she thinks he is great. A master mechanic, a tower of strength, a sex god! A great provider, and the hardest working man in the world!
A man also seeks in his mistress a buddy or a pal: This is when he feels his needs for acceptance being taken care of. A man wants his woman to be his best friend, his pal. He wants her to share an interest in his activities. This, in turn, makes him feel you are showing an interest in him! If he wants to golf, or fish, and you show no interest at all in joining him, he feels like his likes are unacceptable to you. Like you somehow don't approve of him or have interests in him. When you join him you provide his need for you to be interested, and accepting of him. He feels attractive, comfortable, and secure. He feels validated and understood (Hence the good old adultery line "She doesn't understand me!") By joining in his hobbies and activities you are showing him you are interested in him and accept everything about him, and that you trust him to make you happy.
